Erwin

He returns form time to time. His thought lingers long after he's gone. Delicate words remind me of the sometimes and the usual is forgotten. Sweet memories remain and frightful ones disappear. Nothing that was real is real. No real memories cloud my disillusioned vision. Oh how I want to feel him again. I want him to hold me close. I want to close my eyes and pretend that everything is as it was long ago. To him, I won't speak in code, not even the code he and I developed when we were together. I will only tell him truths and sing him lies. He will always say what he needs and never get angry. We will remember the bad times and they will be the only bad times. Things from the past will not dilute the future. And he'll love me. He'll love me like he never did before. He'll see all I do and he'll smile. We will be equal.

Expectations

The only truth I've found in life is that what you expect to happen rarely ever does. Life seems to jump out at you at all the wrong times. With this knowledge, how can plans be arranged? Everyday I think, "this isn't where I thought I'd be right now." I wonder if the moments of happiness I feel are illusions I've constructed in my head.